Bricks and Sheep

I find two aspects of Indian system that are very disturbing to me. I try to tell about it to everyone I come across here in India, but not everyone understands it or sees it the way I see it. Hear me out.

1. Bricks – The Educational system: Whenever I think of the Educational system and the IT training system in India, it reminds me of that song “another brick in the wall“. The system just churns out bricks after bricks. Same studies, curriculum and no creativity. I am more close to IT training system here, so I want to pick out an example from there.

Recently I happen to go to the IT training capital of Hyderabad – Ameerpet. I was there to checkout Adobe’s Flex training. I was shocked to see what has happened to the place. The place is filled with posters and banners – everywhere about all the technology training they are offering. The place is filled with pamphlets. Oh, let me correct myself – the place is ‘littered’ with pamphlets. All the time I was there, I was actually walking on them. People just randomly give out details of IT training in those pamphlets. When some guy offered me one, I said no thanks and you should look at his face. He was shocked to see some new response from people. No one there says no to the junk that gets handed over. They just take it and drop it right there on the street!

So, anyhow my point is not about the junk yard IT training. It’s about how all these million training institutes are giving the same training and churning out same damn bricks. A typical Indian guy comes out of college and heads straight to one of these institutes. This is the place where his American dreams are crafted and sharpened (Another blog post on American dreams later) He learns some course which is in hype and everyone else is learning. Putting in no love in what he does. Later enters the market where everyone else and their mom has the same skill set he has.

There is no differentiation. There is no creativity. The training institutes makes a lot of money. The trainers actually mint money. If the trainer is somewhat good, then there is a queue for his classes. I used to attend a class where there were 1000+ students in one class. We used to watch the trainer in a TV sitting in some 50th row. The trainer also can get weird with their hubris – once I attended a very popular class on EJB (don’t bother if you don’t know what it is – the world doesn’t care) where the trainer came to class drunk! He did a great job of lecturing though.

So, my point is – almost all the training institutes do the same old training and make a lot of money. The end result is we have a lot of Indian techie population who are trained in same things. There is a reason for these bricks and that’s my second point.

2. Sheep – The herd mentality of Indians: At my job I tend to mingle with everyone. I talk to almost everyone and check what they do and how they are doing whatever they are doing. I try to talk to young people who joined the company recently and ask them questions as to what they want to become. I don’t blame them for not knowing what they want, but I do feel uncomfortable by the way they are thinking.

These guys, most of them are in IT field because:

  1. Someone told them that there is more money in it.
  2. Their cousin did it.
  3. It’s cool to sit in front of a computer all day (You can browse!)
  4. Most frequent and important reason – Everyone else is doing it.

I feel so sorry for them. All these sheep that are coming in to IT world are just going to be some tech slaves to someone in some corner of the world. Not many of them are in Tech field because they actually love it. Very few and very rare to find a non-sheep in there. These guys just blindly follow what others are doing. They have some ideas about how they do “follow the often followed path”. Everyone thinks that they are doing it different, but frigging no. They just think that they do, but they are just following someone in the tech field.

When they ask me questions about my career and my life, I always tell them that I always tried to differentiate. That’s how I got so far. I always wanted to stand out in my field. So, I end up learning different language other than Java (gasp!). I try to read people, software management books even though I am not doing management actively (gasp!). I try to draw up my thoughts, ideas etc on white paper rather than typing the code first (gasp!, you should look at my school exam papers – they are filled with my creative art. Hehe)

I believe we are all unique. If God intended or made us same then we all would be carpenters – Hint: Jesus. But nope. He made us unique. It means that we as human beings, every one of us,has something in us which is so unique that there exists nothing else like that in this universe. It’s our job to find that out and just enhance it. Viola. The world would love you for just doing that. To follow some dumb, rotten well followed path means to ignore the uniqueness within us and disrespect the uniqueness that Universe has bestowed upon us.

My unique interests are Technology, Software, Economics, Spirituality, Cognitive Science – all mixed up together. I add a little of all of the above when I write code or pick out a language to learn.

So, coming back to sheep. This herd mentality actually hurts companies, teams, even our country. These sheep produce crappy software, crappy team management etc., because they are not in the business because they love it but someone else has led them there. I know a lot of guys, who actually, literally cried in front of me because they couldn’t work on Java! They were frigging working on far more advanced projects and technolgy than Java. But they were whining about not being able to work on Java. Why? Because their friends we able to go to US of A because they knew Java. Phew! It’s like their hands are in India and heads are in US.

So, I conclude:

Sheep Mentality + Brick Training == One nation of followers

If you think seriously, so far India hasn’t done anything pioneering in Software/Technology even after having so many tech aware people. We are all good followers, but never make good leaders. I think it has something to do with those 400 years British ruled us. The imperialistic mind tend to follow instructions a lot than making it’s own rules. We lost it so much that now we have to learn Ayurveda from Westerners. We are a very good nation for BPO work. And if you come across any great leader in India, just look back and see where the person did his/her education or work in the past – I bet it’s some western country. Don’t believe me? Checkout Gandhi’s history!

So I end this with one last thing, if we ever do a evolution chart for Indian Tech people it would be something like this:

Brick -> Sheep Evolution

Hesitation, Repetition and Irritation

Disclaimer # 1: I am Indian and not only am I a victim of these behaviors but also I did propagate them to some extent.

Disclaimer # 2: I am generalizing based up on my personal experience, not all Indians behave like this. I don’t have statistics – but I do have a test case if you wanna try out – ME.

In all these months we have been here me and Sang have discussed this topic in very much detail. Sang also wanted to blog about it, but I haven’t seen it on her blog and also very recently I encountered this behavior system in much more detail level so I thought I would explain this.

Indians usually have one very dominant behavior pattern. To see the whole picture is not easy, because this behavior comes out in bits and pieces. After a very keen observation of what’s going on – we were able to conclude some things. Out of these the most dominant behavior patterns are – Hesitation, Repetition and Irritation. Let me explain:

Hesitation: It’s a very common trait among most Indians. They are usually hesitant to do or to say anything. For example imagine a fun activity going on with a bunch of people in there – It would be rare to find a Indian man walk into a strange place with no friends along his side and ask confidently to a stranger coming along “What’s going on here?”. Instead you would come cross, a very slow and sad attempt to know what is going on. By the time he walks in, he already made 50% assumption of what is going on. Well his version of 50%. Then there would be pause and then it would start like “Umm..Aaaaah…What is going on here?”.

It usually starts with hesitation. So we have it depicted here.

Hesitation

I believe it’s because we feel very threatened to any alien situation. I mean anyone can feel like that, but the tendency of an Indian to feel threatened is more. This comes out of the feeling that we might hold that we don’t know about the situation ahead. Ignorance. I also believe that those 100+ years British ruled us, they have colonised our thinking and made us to get scared of any alien/different situation. We need directions(More on this, in a later post)

So, the hesitation usually sprouts from ignorance. So we got it covered here.

Hesitation <– Ignorance

Now, if there is any other person, what I mean by that is a middle aged Caucasian man – it would be easy for him to admit the ignorance and move on to knowledge and participation. But not for an Indian. I believe that this Ignorance comes out of something called – Confusion. We really don’t know what to believe. Should we go with our tradition, should we go with Western one? Should we mix it up? People make fun of American born Indians by calling them – ABCD: American Born Confused Desi. But in reality, we, who are born here, are as much confused as the American born. We have Levi’s, Snickers, Cereal, Oatmeal too. Big deal. It’s as much culturally shocking here as it is in America. What more? We didn’t want to offend any God, so we have God in many forms and shapes – adding more to the confusion of an Indian born confused. So, anyhow before I digress I want to capture this.

The Ignorance sprouts out of Confusion. So we have it down here.

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But do you think that out of all this hesitation, Ignorance, Confusion we are ready to admit it and act on it? He he. No way. I have already blogged about how the toughest thing for an Indian is to admit that he/she is wrong. So, we defend our Ignorance – call it Modern Spirituality. We defend our Confusion – call it unity in diversity. We defend our hesitation – call it humbleness. And why? All because we have egos bigger than our real selves. We walk around with Egos larger than life.

So, let’s capture it too. Ego stops us from seeing the faults with in us.

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Repetition: Imagine you are an alien. Just landed on Earth. If I take you to a remotest place in India and leave it there for you to figure it out. After 5 days you would start to think that Indians must be born deaf. Or you must come to believe that we are wicked dumb. Bear with me. This is a very hard trait to observe, especially when you are doing it. Indians have a habit of repeating what they say. For example, if they are asking someone to “Turn Left”, this is how it would go.

“TurnLeft TurnLeft TurnLeft TurnLeft TurnLeft TurnLeft TurnLeft TurnLeft”

Each Turn Left command getting closer and closer to the earlier one. Believe me this happens for real – in all frigging situations. In fact we are so used to it that it’s very hard to detect it. Next time when you are talking to an Indian try observing this.

I have a theory as to why we repeat stuff. I think partly it’s the confusion in us which just wants to confirm one thing to someone many times. It’s based on fear. We usually go through a lot in 1 day here. So our natural thinking is based on fear and we act it out. Also dousing this with “Hesitation” we get more agitated and repeat stuff. For example: In our earlier case where a Indian guy walks in to a strange situation and he is hesitating to ask what’s going on, and if it were to be an Indian there – he would just go:

“What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?”

People use “Repetition” as a tactic to counter “Hesitation”. So, let’s get that in there.

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Irritation: This is usually the outcome of the first two traits. I don’t know why but most of the time Indians are Irritated. Or at least in places like, train reservations, banks, post offices, traffic, buses, taxis etc. I believe that the Irritation comes from by looking down on people who are ignorant. When I go into a bank it’s assumed that I am supposed to know everything in there. People who work there get irritated with a slight question. Add to this, the hesitation on my behalf to ask the question and coupled it with the repetition from the guy – gets born Irritation. People are irritated with small things and for no good reason. So, let’s capture this.

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I also have one last idea about this triumvirate. It comes from the 3 most popular Gods of India

Repetition == Lord Brahma – who is the creator of this world

Lord Brahma

Hesitation == Lord Vishnu who is the maintainer of this world

Lord Vishnu

Irritation == Lord Shiva, who gets pissed of this hesitation and repetition and opens up his 3rd eye to destroy this world!

Lord Shiva

That’s all folks.

Reflections

As I was stuck in the traffic while on my way home – I was tired and when I looked up, there it was – a very beautiful moon. It’s been a long time I even cared to look at moon. I have been a long fan of looking at moon since I was a kid – I am not really sure why, but I guess a bit of meditation and journaling will reveal that. As I was enjoying the moon among the million honks and shouts – my thoughts wandered off to how I was feeling 8 months back.

In the month of July 2007, as we were planning to move to India, I was excited. We had a future we didn’t know. It was kinda bold to leave everything behind and move. But both me and Sang took it in a positive spirit. Only difference was that sometimes, Sangita was disturbed by the idea of moving to India and expressed it openly and I did not. I knew for sure, that it would be good but was not sure what I would be missing out.

In these past 8 months of my stay here in India I have come to realize that a part of me has been completely eroded. I have totally ignored a very active part of me. As I inquired on what triggered these thoughts in me – I should be thankful to our friends who came and visited us. Sarah & Lisa’s visit is a turning point in our stay in India. After hanging out with them, I happen to notice exactly what I am missing out.

So, here are couple of things that I miss most from not living in USA.

1. Meaningful Conversations: Yep, I have got Sang and we talk a lot. We talk about life, India, love, creativity, God, did I mention India? Everything under the sun. Sangita is the only person with whom I can have a very meaningful conversation. When we lived with Lynn and Allison it was more than just 1 person. Both of our room-mates were equally interested in the topics that we are interested in – spirituality, individuality, life, passion, love. It was very easy to start a very deep meaning conversations. The threshold was very low.

In India, very rarely have I come across people who would connect to me at that level. They are already spooked by my accent and the fact that I have a very flexible notion of life scares them off (now a goatee!). There were some flashes in pan now and then, but I haven’t met anyone with whom I want to talk about the topics I am most passionate about.

2. Chilling Out, Unwinding: When I used to come back home after work (it would just take me 30 mins to come home) we had a whole set of relaxing ‘tools’ at our disposal in US. I would grab a drink, slouch on cozy sofa and watch TV or chat with our room mates. It’s kinda weird that in India, I usually have lost my urge to drink. I mean I do have a ability to swing between extremities of my addictions but the thought of just grabbing a beer and relaxing never occurs to me. Yeah, my family not quite liking the fact that I am capable of drinking weighs in a lot though.

So, the way I would unwind is totally missing. I have my own meditation rituals in the night time and sometimes, I wonder may be those are the things that are keeping me sane. I miss how I could relax in the evening and unwind.

3. Silence: You know when you come from US to India, the first thing you observe is how noisy the whole environment is. In 8 months, I have gotten used to it but when we were in Jaipur we attended 1 day Vipassana meditation workshop (more stories on this in next post) and there I happen to witness what silence feels like. I was able to feel slight vibrations in my body and could hear out my own heart beat -consciously. I realized that it is how it feels in US. It is so quiet and it helps a lot to keep our senses low and peaceful.

4. Nature, Greenery: This is something I miss a lot. Even though we were not hardcore nature lovers back in US, we were at least living in a place where there is a lot of greenery and we would sometimes take a hike in nearby hills. It was doable and it was fun. Here we live in a area which is a concrete jungle. I saw the last tree on our street being cut down last week for some real estate property. Planning a hike in nature is near to impossible as you would be the only person who does that and God knows what would happen.  I miss the greenery around me.

5. Friends: In addition to having meaningful talks – it’s also helpful to have good friends. We thought we would make some by starting a local Expat group here. It was terrible. Sangita got harassed and I was bored of the people. Except for few of them I met, no one was good friend material. Yes, I have couple of colleagues who qualify for being friends but they are leaving the company or they can’t have good conversations. So, we both and I know Sangita a lot than me – miss our friends a lot.

Our Wonderful Vacation – Day # 4

Premise: Our friends – Sarah and Lisa are visiting us for 10 days and we are planning a tour of North India with them.

Disclaimer: I am donning a ‘Nostalgic hat’

Date: 28th Dec, 2007

Day # 1 Day # 2 Day # 3

8:00AM, Hotel Narain Niwas: We all got up and got ready. We were supposed to checkout at 10 and the guy just offered us complimentary breakfast for only 2 people. So, we sent out our white troops to go fetch some free breakfast for us. Both Sarah and Lisa were good sport. They went for the complimentary breakfast (where they had a great breakfast and also saw some slutty dressed woman) and stole us some toasts and butter! Me and Sagita had those stolen toasts in our room. Yes, we did steal those toasts because we wanted to save 500Rs for some simple breakfast.

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10:00AM, Checkout: As we checked out, our driver ‘Hansraj’ came to me and told me that he went around looking for place to stay in the morning. He found couple of them for us. He is such a nice guy. So, we tagged along with him and yes, once again Sarah’s big ass suitcase went on top of the car.

By now we discussed and sort of decided that we cannot make it to Dharamshala. I should commend both Sarah & Lisa for being so flexible in their thinking. Even though I sort of feel bad for not being able to take them to Dharamshala, the way they took everything was amazing. I was expecting them to be grumpy about it. But both of them were so nice, they just wanted to have some good time. This helped me a lot as I was already feeling so bad about missing out Dharamshala.

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10:30AM, Hotel Rajasthan Palace, Jaipur: We went to check a hotel which was kinda pricey (2400Rs/night) and also didn’t allow 4 people to be in 1 room. Yes, after 4 days of traveling we got so cozy and felt like we are in college and can stay in 1 room decently. So, it didn’t work out. But the hotel next to it was not a problem. This guy offered us a room @ 1000Rs/night, but we wanted the price to go down. Finally we got a 2 rooms right next to each other for 800Rs/night. It was a good deal as we planned to stay there for couple of days.

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11:30AM, In our car, Jaipur: We were planning to do a walking tour of the city from the Lonely Planet book. But our driver advised us that we should cover all the long distance tourist points as we have access to car for 2 days only. We agreed, and also our driver was smart enough to think of that.

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12:00PM, Jaigad Fort, jaipur: We drove to the top of the mountain arriving at Jaigad Fort. This was a backup fort for King in those old days to keep all his artillery. As usual, our American friends had to shell out more money in entrance fee than us.

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One thing to note is that – all the time, there is some topic going on under discussion. It could be life, marriage, love, US, India, travel, Oakland, Weddings, Cleveland, Indian tops, ‘Golden Star’ (I promise I will explain all about this in my next post). So, just imagine a car filled with laughter, talk and making fun of each other.

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So once we got inside the fort, we went around to some 2 temples inside. Saw some artillery, old guns etc. Then a guy volunteered himself to take us around. We warned him that we are not looking for a guide, but he insisted that he works there and he is not a guide. So we followed him. He showed us the water tank and how Elephants were used to get the water from down below the valley to the fort. The fort had a fountain back then. A frigging huge one! Those guys some 300 years back cared to have a fountain and make it work without any water pumping systems in place. So cool.

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We saw the royal kitchen, dining hall and puppet show. As we were looking down the mountain, we learned that Amber palace is down the hill and we can walk up there. We can walk to AMber palace from Jaigad fort just like the queen used to go on her Elephant. Awesome. So, we took the cobblestone path down there. We informed our driver to come and pick us up at Amber palace.

Once we got to Amber palace – it was packed. There were so many people(where are they NOT?) So we decided that it’s not worth to go inside the palace.

3:00PM, Rajasthan Tourism Dept store, Jaipur: We stopped by in a Govt. recognized store. The girls bought some stuff. But as usual it takes couple of hours. This is where both Sarah and Lisa started their hunt for perfect wall hangings. I took a break by having some tea and after 2 hours and some purchases we were ready to roll.

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6:30PM, Choki Dhani, Jaipur: Choki Dhani is an amazing place. It’s a huge place which is like a planned village. It has all the stuff from Rajasthan culture, cuisine, dance, traditions etc. I loved the idea and I think every state should have something like that. For the first time we paid equal amount for tickets – 450Rs.(which includes a traditional Rajasthani dinner)

We wandered around – watching people having fun. Lisa shook a leg with a guy disguised as a woman. Sarah was always doing her dance as we walked. It was like something/someone got into her! Sangita got louder and louder. It was all fun. We were starving. So, we went to a place to eat, and I think it was not yet time to serve food – so a bunch of guys just came to us and stood in circle around us. I knew that they were NOT checking out my goatee.

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As it got too freakish there we moved to a different dinner place. It was a traditional Rajasthani food. Little did we knew about the food then. We sat down to eat our food. It was kinda dark and we got served in leaf plates. There is one thing I learned about Rajsthani food that night. They eat hell a lot of sweet. Damn. So, we got served a lot of sweets and then some maize rotis. The bread tasted like cardboard. The curries varied in taste. Added to this all we couldn’t see our food.

Sangita didn’t knew what she was chewing on to and accidentally chewed a cup made of mud which was holding butter. Sarah just amused herself by how she can’t eat anything. I think she ate a granola bar she had in stock(Good work Josh) Lisa made weird face and said that did not go well with her. One thing about Indian serving is: when you say enough, I don’t want any – they do the exact opposite. Poor Sarah, she didn’t knew this – by the end of our dinner, she had so much food in her plate, oh my.

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As we got out of that place, we knew we hate Rajasthani food now. No more traditional, local food. After food, we wandered around in Choki Dhani – I got a head massage, all the girls got Henna on their hands. They looked really good when they were dancing with Henna. :-)

10:30PM, Rajasthan Palace Hotel, Jaipur: Tired as hell and feeling weird about the food we ate we crouched back in our beds. The rooms were cold. Rajasthan would be hot during day and get very cold during nights. We decided that we will go for our Elephant & Camel rides next day.

Read Day # 5

Our Wonderful Vacation – Day # 3

Premise: Our friends – Sarah and Lisa are visiting us for 10 days and we are planning a tour of North India with them.

Disclaimer: I am donning a ‘Loving hat’

Date: 27th Dec, 2007

Day # 1 Day # 2

7:00AM, Pahargunj, Delhi: After checked out of our hotel, we walked towards the street where we met our new driver. The travel agent said, it would be someone by name “Jai Kishan”, but it turned out to be “Hansraj”. (I should stop here and mention about our driver. He is the best driver and most amazing guy you would meet in Delhi. He speaks very good English and he drives very carefully. He is just amazing. If you happen to be in Delhi and looking for a car rental – call him on 09891539684). Since we had about 4 big bags, we decided to get one bag on top of our car. Sarah had a big suitcase and it won the contest of going on top by default. But we all could tell the strain in Sarah’s face all the way to Agra as she was worried that the suicase might just drop off!

As we drove to Agra and started our long drive, I chatted with our driver about the distance and about the fields around us. He was also telling us about how he can take us to Dharamshala too, if we wanted.

10:00AM, rest area, somewhere in Haryana: We stopped by a rest area and had our breakfast. Sarah and Lisa got eat their favorite – Porridge and we had Omelettes. As we walked out of our restaurant we saw a snake charmer and we all wanted to take a look. Sangita volunteered to put a cobra around her neck. Lisa stayed away. Sarah, as usual, was video taping the whole thing and I was taking photos. It was just a small thing and as I went up to give the old man some money – he demanded 200Rs. It was crazy to shell out 200Rs for just touching a snake. I gave him 10 bucks and I guess he cussed us out.

Sangita & Snake Charmer

12:45PM, Railways Reservation, Agra: We decided that we will get our tickets to Dharamshala before we go visit Taj Mahal. So we ended up in this stinky and old railway reservation building. After filling in the reservation form, I was standing in line and all the girls were waiting. After a long time Lisa walked next to me to check and the guy inside the counter saw a White girl walking by and he just yelled at Lisa to come to the front of the line. As he was shaking his head vigorously to convey the meaning – to which Lisa totally didn’t respond – I had to tell him that she was with me and I am in line.

So, finally when my turn came, we came to know that there are no tickets available either to go to Dharamshala or to come back on the dates we wanted. The waiting list was 19 in 2nd class AC. This caused a lot of mental trouble to me, as I started to get worried about it. Finally we decided that we should just go see Taj first and later worry about our trip to Dharamshala.

1:30PM, Front gate, Taj Mahal: The foreigner discrimination showed it ugly face again. We paid 20Rs for our tickets to Taj Mahal and our friends paid 750Rs each! That’s crazy. So, after we got harassed by various people who wanted to take us inside from the other entrance (God know where that is) and guys who wanted to be our friends and guides – we finally managed to stand in a line that took forever. After about 1 1/2 hour we managed to get in.

3:00PM Taj Mahal: It’s impossible to explain when you first see Taj Mahal first time. It’s just so huge. I was overwhelmed by it. It was just beautiful. Wow. What a way of showing love? Even though it’s a silly tomb – the whole conceptualization and someone dared to think like that just overtook me with immense feeling. Everyone in our group was in amazement. We took lot’s of pictures, videos – especially Sarah posing and Lisa dancing. A lot of people approached our friends and asked them whether they can take a picture of them. It was fun for them to be celebrities and they kinda ran away from people who asked them for pictures.

Taj Mahal

4:30PM Taj Mahal: Note to self – next time I go to Taj Mahal make sure I have my lunch before I go in. We all were starving. We spent good amount of time devouring Taj and then decided to go out and have a actual meal.

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5:00PM, some hotel, Agra: We all had the worst Indian food ever. The curries were bland and sort of raw. I think seeing white people they just decided not use any chilly powder and salt. Instead they gave us pickle to add flavor to our curries.

After late lunch, we decided that we will try our luck with tickets again. So, we ended up at the reservation counter again. No luck. All the trains were full and we had no clue what to do. We called our hotel room which booked in Jaipur to tell them about our late arrival. The hotel we booked our stay for 2 nights was “Umaid Bhavan” but they told us that there were no rooms available. Even after we paid for the rooms! This was crazy. That stupid site said the rooms are available and now we come to know that there are no rooms. Me and Sangita were pretty depressed.

5:30PM, Railway station, Agra: This was amazing. Sarah sprang into action. Suddenly she became the super hero. She charged us all up with action. As we drove from Agra to Jaipur, she helped Sangita to make calls to all other hotels in Jaipur so that we can get a stay for that night. We knew that we will get to Jaipur late in the night and we need to make sure we have a place to stay. So after making about 20 calls frantically – we finally found a place which had a room and accommodate all 4 of us in 1 room. It was kinda pricey but we were relaxed a bit to know that we have something when we arrive in Jaipur.

11:00PM, Hotel Narain Niwas, Jaipur: As we walked in the hotel manager (Sunny) was kinda surprised to know that we were 4. He assumed that there were only 2 people. So we hit another road block. He said we have to pay 8000Rs for 1 night for all 4 of us. It was ridiculous, we were all tired and this guy was loud and hyper. Finally Sangita talked him into giving us a room for 2 people and charge us extra 1000Rs for 2 beds. It finally came down to 6000Rs – the most expensive hotel we stayed in all our trip.

11:30PM, Our hotel room: This hotel was a heritage hotel. It was a beautiful place. The room was just amazing. I had to bribe the guy to get us 2 space heaters. We all had showers – actual showers with hot water after such a long time. Our driver got to sleep in some driver’s quarters.

Finally the crazy day where we witnessed the amazing Taj Mahal and frantic phone calls to find a place came to an end. As we went to sleep it was kinda dawning upon us that may be we won’t make it to Dharamshala.

Hotel Narain Niwas
Read Day # 4

Me, Myself and My Goatee

India is a country where you get feedback about random things – just like that and immediate. As a part of hacking my life, I have decided to grow a goatee (well, it has been Sang’s idea from the past 2 years). As we were going on a 10 day trip, I chose that as an opportunity to grow one as I would be away from home.

Our American friends were, as usual, very nice. They said it was good and it looked nice. The feedback was not immediate as in India as in US it is considered to be rude to comment on someone’s physical thingys. Sangita is excited. When we got back, I got a bunch of feedback though:

“You look too old in your goatee”My Mother

“You look like you are a father to 4 kids”My Sister

“Goatees’ bring good luck to some and bad luck to some. Be careful and watch which bucket your Goatee belongs to”My Another Sister

“May be you should shave off your beard and keep the Mustache”A Collegue

“You look weird”A Collegue

“You look so different”A Collegue

“What happened to you????”A Friend

“Did you forget your razor on your trip?”A very common joke from everyone

“Ah……Akbar…..Ummmm….Ah”A bunch of people

“Hmm.”A girl

“Looking Hot”Sang

“Ow, Ow. Nice”Shyam

Our Wonderful Vacation – Day # 2

Premise: Our friends – Sarah and Lisa are visiting us for 10 days and we are planning a tour of North India with them.

Disclaimer: I am donning a ‘Details hat’

Date: 26th Dec, 2007

Day # 1

9:30AM, our home: We all enjoyed tasty dosas with coconut chutney. Lisa love coconuts and she loved the Chutney. We got busy packing and I was spazzing for a while as my mom thought I was left out last in packing my bag.

12:00PM, Hyderabad Airport: Sarah is surprised about the lax of security at the Airport. No one asked her any ID or anything. She could totally have been someone else and still fly to Delhi. Some lady try to cut us in our line and Sangita yelled at her.

4:00PM, Delhi Airport: Hustling to find a taxi to rent for the rest of the day. Hertz says – 2500Rs, some other guy – 2000Rs. Finally we settle down to Delhi Tourism dept or something who rented the car for 1200Rs. We were meeting our friends – Jacob & Vinitika for dinner later at night. So after calling them, we figured that we should head towards Haus Khaz.

We meet our first good driver – Umesh from Karnataka. He explains a lot of things to us about Delhi and understands and speaks good English. On our way we stop by to get some Dollars exchanged – 1$ == 38.40Rs. So as we were travelling to Haus Khaz – there was this biker who was driving ahead of us and suddenly out of nowhere he drives on a stone/something on the road and flips over, make s somersault and hits the lamp post. The most brutal accident I ever witnessed. Sarah being seated in the middle watched it too and we were all horrified. We talked to the driver about informing police, and he said we can do so if we plan to stay in the Police station that night. We were just speechless for next 30 mins till we reached Hauz Khas.

6:00PM, Hauz Khas: We are all shocked to see how fancy that place was. Pretty boutiques, nice apartments, restaurants and some really really beautiful people. For a moment we were thinking that we are in the village area of NYC. Delhi is damn good. We were all in love with it. Hyderabad has no where near to Delhi.

We walked around and waited for our friends. Finally Jacon and Vinitika arrived and we decided to go out for some drinks and dinner.

With Jacob and Vinitika

7:00PM, Gola bar: We had good time over drinks. Sarah was tired and Lisa was fading away. Me and Jacob had some good discussions about how our working patterns are changing. After our drinks we head out to a ‘Chettinad’ Restaurant and have some Appam and Chicken Gassi. Everyone loved the food.

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10:00PM, Goodbyes: We had some nice paan and then bid goodbye to Jacob and Vinitika. Vinitika got us a room to stay for 1 night in Delhi. Since we thought we will be in only for couple of hours, we should go with a cheap hotel.

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10:30PM, Pahargunj, Delhi: As our driver took through the narrow and dirty streets of Pahargunj to find our hotel. This was a totally sketchy place. Sarah, Lisa and Sangita were already scared to be there. As we stopped to ask for directions at a place. One weird guy just pounded on our car – to which everyone shrieked. His name was “Pappu Pager”. He was promising us a place to stay and would never shut up. She tried to grab my phone from me as I was talking to the hotel people. He was high and drunk and just yap away. It was kinda fun to watch him move, shake and twitch. Our friends refused to get out of the car till we see someone from Hotel to come pick us up.

Finally someone turns up and takes us to the hotel room.

11:30PM, Hotel Star Paradise, Pahargunj, Delhi: We check into a room. Since we were planning to stay there for just 4 hours we all stayed in 1 room. The rent for the room was 400Rs + 200Rs for extra bed. Once we are in, this guy brings in a extra cot and some really really dirty mattress. I was so ‘excited’ to sleep on it. Our American friends refuse to even use the blankets from the hotel.

12:30AM, our hotel room, Delhi: We figured that we won’t get tickets to ‘Shatabdi Express’ next day heading out to Agra. So, I call Umesh to get a price quote from Delhi -> Agra -> Jaipur. Finally after a little bit of haggling, we decide on a price: 7200Rs for taking us from Delhi to Agra and then to Jaipur and then staying with us in Jaipur for 2 days till we board the train for Dharmashala.

4:30AM, our hotel room, Delhi: Sarah didn’t sleep at all. We were awake and getting ready. There was no hot water – so we all took cold showers. Imagine – Delhi, early morning and it was freezing like hell. We all took ice chilled cold water baths. Damn. I was quite pissed off but as Sarah, Lisa and Sangita started to make jokes about the hotel and how we are all scared to be there, I became ok about it. They were all very sportive about it we checked out of the nasty shit hole.

Shit Hole
Read Day # 3

Our Wonderful Vacation – Day # 1

Premise: Our friends – Sarah and Lisa are visiting us for 10 days and we are planning a tour of North India with them.

Disclaimer: I am donning a ‘Cynical hat’

Date: 25th Dec, 2007

1:30AM, Hyderabad Airport: There is nothing like waiting for someone or for your flight in an Indian airport. You have a lot of people as usual, in addition to that everyone in the town and their mom would be there. And added to that everyone would be standing. Yes, I do sound very cynical but believe me when I say, that I face these things with utmost patience.

So me and Sang were waiting for our friends to come out. It took about 2 1/2 hours for them to get out. In the mean time to pass our time we played a game of who is the most beautiful and who is the most ugly person. There was one moment where I mistook a Airhostess to be our friends but it didn’t take much time to recognize them once they were out! Finally Sarah and Lisa arrive. Yay.

9:30AM, Our home: I woke up to the giggles and laughs of our friends who were trying to use our bathrooms. Sangita was giving them ad-hoc classes as to how to do a “bucket bath”. I had to rush to Trinetra market to get some good old ‘toilet paper’.

11:00AM, Charminar: It was fun to go to Charminar as our first ‘tourist visit’. Both Lisa and Sarah were surprised to see the sea of people. We stood like good Samaritans in the line to get the tickets. Someone saw that some white people are standing in a colored line and got us ahead and front of the line. This did not go well with the lady who was next in the line and she kinda yelled at me for cutting the line using ‘white people’ as pretext. For a moment I felt bad (remember I am a good samaritan too) for the lady but then when I realized that our friends were charged Rs.100 and we(people of color) were charged Rs.5 I felt no pity towards anyone who is standing in line. Call it my ‘secret justification of the world’ process.

So we climbed the steps and got on top of Charminar. It has a very good view of the city around. I was trying to be careful with Sarah’s left shoulder (as she has a history of dislocating it after her ‘daily Karate class’ and ‘regular ass kicking of Josh’ practice) and also stop a whole lot of guys from just falling on top of white people. I think it’s tough life for people who are both white and girls – to be visiting India. Every Indian Romeo (or Ranjha) wants to touch them or fall in love with them. Desi Babu, Angrezi Baby!

On top of Charminar

Once we were on top of Charminar, both Sarah and Lisa were asked by random guys to have their pictures taken with them. Being the good Samaritans they are, they politely refused. But this didn’t deter some people and they just simply took pictures of our friends. It’s a weird feeling to see a Hyderabadi hero (A typical teenager with long hair and fancy pants) scramble and pull out his phone camera to take a picture of our friends before they walk away.

So, now we all realized how the rest of the India trip is going to be. It would all be stares and random flashes (the camera ones) all the way. We would get ‘Hullo’ once a while but we knew that it was meant for the whities not us.

We did a little bit of shopping. Sarah bought some bangles, Sang and Lisa bought some ‘Attar’ (scent). Again, looking at our friends the prices would automatically go up. It’s just not the Indian government who has jacked up all the ticket prices for foreigners – it also includes all the stores. Good thing we had the ‘Ninja Price Negotiater’ (hereon to be referred as NPN) – Sang who basically cut so close to the bones of the sellers that it hurts watching her haggle.

1:30PM, Our home: We got back from our Charminar trip and our friends (who are amazingly adventurous and very sporty) donned the ‘Standard Indian Aunty’ (TM) look – by wearing Indian nighties. My grand mother, mom and sisters were pretty amused to see them in that attire. They thought that both Lisa and Sarah looked like live dolls in the Indian nighties.

Then we sat down to have our scrumptious dinner. My mom is a genius. She knew before hand that some white people are coming to visit us. She knew that she couldn’t talk to them. So, she used one of her best weapons from her arsenal – food. They say, the best way to reach a (Wo)man’s heart by the stomach route. If that is true then, my mom friggin owns the route, the canal next to it, the whole neighborhood! She meticulously planned the lunch to be the best one. So, we all enjoyed our ‘Coconut gravy based fresh shrimp’. That was awesome. Period.

3:30PM, our home: As I suck totally at haggling (there are many, but this one shows up very often), the girls have decided to take my sister – Asha along with them for further shopping. Asha is also a ‘NPN’ and equals Sangita at haggling.

3:45PM, our home: Since we decided to take Asha (and Bannu comes with her by default) with us and now we were 5 in number it was tricky to get all of us in the car. Me and Sang sat in the front and I had to straddle around the gear stick. This is the beginning of the trip long harassment I would undergo with the car, auto, rickshaw drivers. The groping ended after 45 minutes as we reached our destination. Man those were some ‘jerky’ switching of gears.

4:30PM, Sultan Bazaar: Both Lisa and Sarah got some pretty bags and clothes. Asha and Sang made sure that the price was low. And the crowds kept staring at us.

6:30PM, Auto: This was the first ride in an auto for our friends. As usual we were more in number to fit in an auto, so I snuggled next to the smelly driver. At first I was kinda surprised to see that guy being so jovial and friendly and later I realized that he was drunk. Phew. So, I had to keep him sober by talking to him about random things till we got to our destination. Oh man, the things we discussed for the next 30 minutes.

7:30PM, Birla Mandir: I think that we Indians have it in our genes that we always go to places at the same time. It was so friggin crowded at Birla Mandir. I think that we ar programmed in such a way that if one Indian just thinks to visit a place – the rest of the India wants to visit the same place to. It’s magical how 50,000 other people can read your thoughts.

We stood in a line and finally had a Darshan of God. It was fun so sit and relax after the darshan. We had a good time.

As the jet lag settled on our friends, we reached home with dreams of yummy coconut curry.

Read Day # 2

Two Observations

I come across these 2 things a lot. I find these themes very common with all the Indian people I talk to.

  1. Liquor: Indian men like to brag about how long they can hold liquor! Period. They also brag about how much they can drink. If you come across any Indian and 90% chances are that they drink and if you bring the topic of going out for drinks – watch out next 10 seconds – you would hear something un-realistic claim to fame from them. I really don’t get it. I mean c’mon it’s not like you have ‘large feet’ (If you know what I mean!). You just can drink awful lot that’s all. It’s not anything to brag about. It’s a shame that you drink so much and you need so much to actually have some fun. This is something I hear every day from so many people.
  2. Past: I also come across people bragging a lot about their past. They incessantly dwell in the time period where everything was so good. I tell you, it’s a national epidemic. Most of them live in past. They are just worried about the future and compare it with past. What about the present? Hello? The stories of the past just don’t stop. What’s annoying is that most of the time these past stories are about how much they drank! C’mon let’s get a fking life and get on with it.

Wonderful Goa trip

I have never been able to take a decent vacation in my life. When I was in Singapore, US the only vacation was to visit India which was more frantic than anything in my life. Other time we have been to Chicago, Louisville but all those were still with family and hence more busy than usual time.

After our wedding we got so busy that we never got any chance to go anywhere. We still have plans to visit Peru but last week we got a wonderful opportunity to go visit Goa. We have been wanting to go there for long time and this was our first visit. God, it felt so good. We stayed in the Candolim area and hung out in Candolim, Baga, Anjuna beaches. It was so nice to just hangout at beach for whole day. Our routine was to get ready by 10am, get done with complimentary breakfast and rush to beach. Lie there reading our books, writing in journal and talking about stuff. Watching sunset was the most amazing thing!

We also travelled south to Palolem beach. It was the best beach ever I have been to. Coconut trees along the beach and not much of a crazy crowd to encounter. It was all the worth traveling 3 hours south for this beach. We milked the time we had there and spent almost all the time at beach. It was just exhilarating. I was ok with never going back home!

So, after 4 days in such environment we have decided that we would live somewhere close to water in our future. There’s just not much happening in mainland.

The most surprising thing though was, when we got back we kinda tanned a lot and my mom, sister and friends were shocked at it. In a country where we have “Fairness Cream for Men” and “Emami” is a verb, it was very shocking that we dared to behave like “gores’/firangi” and went ahead and got ourselves a tan(which was totally not intentional). I was shocked to see everyone’s response towards this “voluntary kalankit hona” event.

But who cares, if only they could see what I saw in Goa and hear the hum of the beach!

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