Hankering after the unknowable

No one explains it like J.Krishnamurti does.

You want me to tell you what reality is. Can the indescribable be put into words? Can you measure something immeasurable? Can you catch the wind in your fist? If you do, is that the wind? If you measure that which is immeasurable, is that the real? If you formulate it, is it the real? Surely not, for the moment you describe something which is indescribable, it ceases to be the real. The moment you translate the unknowable into the known, it ceases to be the unknowable. Yet that is what we are hankering after. All the time we want to know, because then we shall be able to continue, then we shall be able, we think, to capture ultimate happiness, permanency. We want to know because we are not happy, because we are striving miserably, because we are worn out, degraded. Yet instead of realizing the simple fact -that we are degraded, that we are dull, weary, in turmoil-we want to move away from what is the known into the unknown, which again becomes the known and therefore we can never find the real. – J. Krishnamurti, The Book of Life

More here.

The empathetic programmer

http://www.flickr.com/photos/adrianruiz/Long time ago – I was interested in all those fancy personality tests that you can take and they will analyze and tell you what your strengths and weaknesses are. I don’t recall it correctly but I think it was the Strengths Finder 2.0 book. Anyhow, after the test it told me one of my strength (out of couple of others) is – Empathy. I have the ability to feel other’s pain, pleasure and understand them/their situation better – sometimes even better than themselves. It was kinda bummer to me. You know I was more like looking forward to some super mental skills – like x-ray vision and mind reading!

So, I didn’t pay attention to it that much and never thought about it. After I started my own business – I had a bunch of Clients and there was a moment where we were working on like 8 projects at a time. I was talking to Sangita and how I was getting lucky with closing the deals and knowing what to do with the project – she reminded me of my strengths finder test. She mentioned may be in addition to luck I am able to read their requirements a bit more with my madz skillz of empathy! It clicked to me and I thought may be it’s not that bad of an idea to accept my strengths even if they are not super human like. I kept it in the back of my head in all my meetings with my clients and in some cases I was able to see the affect it had on my conversations with them.

It always irked me though that – the one top strength I have on my list will never be able to help me in my first love – programming. It still bothered me. Not until couple of months back where I had an insight and everything fell in it’s place. I was grappling with a programming issue. It was a tough bug to crack and when usually I am stuck with an issue – I try to stay with it as much as possible skipping food etc so that I can understand it much deeply. In that wariness – for a moment I saw what I was doing. It just occurred to me what actually I was doing internally. I was using my strength to solve a software issue.

I know this sounds corny, but what I was doing was being the bug. I was sitting there and literally imagining myself to be the issue and see how and why I am getting stuck. And using that information I perceive to solve the problem. I am sure a lot of people do this, but for me more important was how my top strength fell into this big maze of my life. That was it – I am the empathetic programmer. I solve and write software based on how I feel the program feels!

Having Empathy as your strongest point isn’t easy. I mean, c’mon the best suited job for my type is a psychologist or a social worker. How far away is that from building programs? After I understood my strength application – it all made sense. That’s why I can’t watch any medical shows. I mean I literally cringe and sometimes depending on how much I feel – feel the pain of the person who is suffering medically. There were so many occasions where people would describe to me in most vivid details of their symptoms and boom I see them in me too.

Thats the reason why it took me 4 years to finally come around and start watching Gray’s Anatomy and House. Scrubs, I could take but nothing with gory details and blood spewing scenes. It’s funny in it’s own way, but if it would let me solve my programming bugs and make me a better programmer – then so be it. Ultimately, the best debugger in this world is between your ears. 🙂

Meditation and Melatonin Connection

Yesterday I had one of those AHA moments about meditation. I have always read in various books about how prolonged meditation cuts down the amount of sleep you would need. I should admit, I really was trying to put that to good use – when I was working for myself – where the work days would last 16 hours and there was no work/life balance.

Anyhow, what I have always known was – 20 mins of nap during day == 1 hour of sleep during night. And 15 mins of deep focused meditation == 1 hour of sleep during night. I have seen that being said everywhere but I could never understand why.

Yesterday I learned the answer. Here are the details.

Everyone of us have something called ‘Pineal Gland‘. This small almond shaped gland is the end point of our nervous system which connects to our brain. As we get signals from nervous system, this gland kinda vibrates and releases a hormone called ‘Melatonin‘. Now Melatonin is a natural hormone – which we use to replenish and heal our bodies. So sleep is a means to the end of getting Melatonin. There I was like AHA. Now I know.

So basically when you take a nap or meditate – you are making Melatonin. Once our body gets that – it doesn’t need us to sleep longer hours for more and that way you can get away with 6 hours of sleep and still be alert during day.

Again, I don’t think just simple meditation generates Melatonin. What meditation does is to slow down our brain waves and I think when we get to theta level – we are able to produce Melatonin.

I have also learned that in the ancient cultures, people knew about this and focused on Pineal gland focused meditation technique. Usually when we meditate we are asked to either focus on a picture, idol, light or breathing. The more noob the more external things you need to focus on. So, you would start your meditation practice with a picture and end up doing it by focusing on your breath as you progress. But in Pineal gland focused meditation technique the seeker focuses on the back of the head (where the gland is located) and this (with practice) furthers the easy making of the Melatonin harmone. I think this is a very valid technique. Two years back I was taking a Super Memory reading course – because I had way too many books to read than time. In that they teach you a technique which works like a wonder. While reading the book – imagine a imaginary orange behind your head. Just hovering there. Once you do that, your focus kinda shifts to the back of your head and it kinda puts you in a trance where all the external distractions are minimized. It’s called the orange technique and it really works.

Tantrically thinking, I think Pineal gland is actually the esoteric, analogical third eye of Shiva. It’s not a literal one which is between your brows but something inside your head. And as Mythology and Scriptures say – once it’s open it doesn’t destroy the literal world, but your *idea* of this world. This whole shebang you carry around in your head called life is blown away.

Mercurial is all about Sex!

At my new job we use Mercurial (for the non-techies but still interested in sex this is Mercurial <– click that). I have used Git in the past and liked it but it’s been long so it was kinda re-learning the basics. I was happy to jump onto it – because I really really really wanted to forget all about SVN. I don’t think I will ever want to use it again.

I know now you are getting restless – because you probably are reading this because of the word ‘sex’ in the title! Fear not, I am gonna give you a nice way to understand Mercurial. After that you may never choose to use it or forever love it.

I figured it out that Mercurial is all about sex. To go with the story lets define some terms.

  •  Under mercurial everyone has their own repository.
  •  You may or may not choose to have a central repository. Kinda free to be alone.
  •  Working directory is a piece of shit. Mercurial remembers whats in your working directory (if you are ”committed’) and then can swap it out with 1 command. So, don’t feel bad about your jewel code in there – mercurial doesn’t care.

To elucidate lets take an example of a guy and girl who are trying to date. Lets call them John and Jane. Here is how I can explain the concepts behind mercurial.

  • John wants to be in a relationship. He needs to initiate it and intend it: $hg init (the folder name could be- ‘one night stand’, ‘long term rel’)
  • May be John saw his friends making out with their girl friends – so John want something similar: $hg clone
  • John gotta work on himself. Build that 8-pack he has been thinking of and all those fat tires around his waist and neck: $hg add, $hg remove, $hg mv, $hg cp  and finally committed to look good $hg commit
  • It’s the same for Jane too.
  • Everything is all about the local repo. It’s like this ideal person John and Jane wants to be. It’s like seeing themselves in mirror and updating themselves: $hg update
  • $hg status – state of mind. John drunk and horny. Jane depressed and flirty. Pick a vice.
  • Now the fun starts – John and Jane are dating.
  • John wants to take Jane to dinner at his parents place! (I know lame). $hg pull
  • Jane wants to control John and tell him what she like and dislikes : $hg push
  • Once they meet after 6pm and both are needy. Irrespective of whether they pushed or pulled you would end up with 2 heads. Imagine John and Jane lying down on a bed next to each other. You see 2 heads right? If not run : $hg heads. Well for the adventurous one it’s possible to have more than 2 heads -but don’t be such a sicko!
  • Now the most fun part – once in bed they gotta do something: $hg merge – Woo Hoo.  It starts with a lonely init and ends with a climatic merge!
  • There are some other stuff which might help –
  • John wants to check whose his parents are : $hg parents
  • Jane checks herself out in the mirror and see what’s happening. $hg diff
  • $hg revert –  Jane wiping her make up off.
  • $hg rollback –  1 chance for both Jane and John to cheat on each other and rollback.
  • $hg backout – I think this might be about saying goodbye. Not sure.
Ok, I know it’s crazy but consider this. This post was written under heavy influence of fine Bourbon – so back out and chill. I am not making fun or Mercurial. I actually like it. Ooops there is a fly in my Old Fashion – Gotta go.