Month: March 2012

The Critic, The Rebel and The Witness

I think we all have these 3 personalities that always are taking charges of our minds, lives constantly. I notice it in me more and more. The bad thing about it is that – these 3 archetypes aren’t evenly distributed.

The Critic

Obviously the critic is kinda kicking everyone’s ass. You could notice it if you start to watch your self talk. Or when you are in front of a mirror. Or you watch people as you stand in a line at Starbucks. The Critic is always making opinions, giving negative feedback – about me, about my environment, about the people I interact with. It’s kinda how we navigate this world. It does has very good use though – judgement. The Critic can judge fast and it’s very useful in certain situations. But we let it dominate all other things and thats when it kinda ruins our lives.

The Rebel

We all know this person. Especially if you had rough teens. We all rebel in various ways. Usually – internally this rebellion is against that Critic and externally it’s directed towards parents, siblings, colleagues and rest of the world. You may think there isn’t any rebel in you, but trust me there is. It might be subtler – like you love grunge or dub step or eat really spicy food. This rebel kinda helps us break through the threshold of your limits placed by the Critic. This guys lets you break through the glass ceiling that the Critic put in place. Without the rebel we can’t do a lot of things that we admire ourselves for.

The Witness

Then there is this witness – probably occupying like 0.01% of our being. The ironic thing about witness is, it doesn’t do anything. I mean literally like anything at all. It doesn’t prompt you to do any action, it doesn’t prompt you any thoughts either. It’s just witnessing, running the cosmic tape recorder and recording. Why is the Witness important? Remember what Archimedes said? “Give me a place to stand, and I will move the Earth“. This witness is the place for us to stand. The place where we can move things and the Earth (metaphorically). The witness is the place where we are nothing and yet notice everything. The witness is the position where you see who you actually are.

A lot of religions, new age societies have named this witness as God, Universe etc.. pick one you like but it’s a special one.

The trick is to make all these 3 psyches balance. It’s not easy. Our default mode is Critic and it’s probably going on by now how this blog post is BS (believe me mine is telling me the same too!). What I have noticed is that the only way to increase the Witness’ role is through contemplation, journaling and meditation. The rebel will automatically take care of itself.

Personally I am giving myself till this year end to add some of these practices more often to my life and make them active part so that I am in a better place with Witness and be able to live a meaningful life.

Noisy in here

There are times I feel very disturbed and it gets to a stage where it’s completely noisy inside my head. Multiple things passing by completely aggravating my situation. Outside it’s all calm and silent. I can see things, people but inside it’s a warzone. The blaring TV hurts more and more, the stupid soapy story bleeds my mind. Nothing helps.

I was in a shock today. I happen to chit chat with a complete stranger and 20 mins later realized that I revealed things that I have been guarding for many ages. The shield was off and I caught myself a little too late. Then I realized that all this noise in my head is making my filters go haywire. I can’t figure out what to filter and what not to.

The last sane resort I have in this kinda of situation is to journal. Well, the actual paper journal. This blog is just an extension of what I write. I did that and feel a little stable but still tipsy. Don’t know, can’t think of a solution.

Ever wonder that there are times, where you want to just let it out, vent, veer, wobble, wander – and wish someone had a just a little quieter mind than yours and listen to what you are saying without interrupting every 30 seconds? Ever wonder that there are occasions where you don’t want to hear probable solutions to your problems but you just want them to hear it? Or may be it’s just me who wants to hear them out – out loud.

I feel that way now.

The Default Fall Back

There are times where I get agitated and worried. It happens not so often as I tend to plant my feet firmly. But sometimes I do get disturbed. Change is hard for anyone and sometimes I worry about the change that might come and affect things I have in place. I dig deep into worry and everything feels fickle and fragile. Then I go to my default fall back. The default place of security and safety which lies within me. Wayne Dyer says that there is a spiritual solution for every problem and I agree with it. My default fall back is to get quiet and become present. Here and now. Then my past flashes back to me and I realize how lucky my whole journey so far has been. How many times I thought I was going to drown but sailed out safely. I cannot count them. I feel extreme gratitude to this thing called my life and then I switch back to my default mode. The mode of being in the present and taking things as they come. Because I can’t control what comes at me, but I can control how I respond to it. Peace.