I have virtually lost my interest in the work I am doing. The only ray of hope for me is the Ruby, Rails training I am doing. Only because it is linked up to something I have been passionate about for a long time – Ruby. I am an emotional being. For me inspiration comes from within me and the way usually I get inspired is that something interests me, tickles my creativity and challenges me. Something where I can go that extra mile and which will give me immense happiness. Anything which involves a creative solution and stimulating challenge inspires me.
And all this is lacking for me in my project. It’s the insipid PHP code which I churn out which is of so least importance to me. Acceptance of my lack of inspiration is the first step towards solving it. So, I decided to see what others are doing. I talked to couple of my friends and it looks like boredom is so common in their work too. They all were way down in inspiration. And most cruel thing(to themselves and to the company) is that they have made their peace with it and they are living a life where there is no inspiration at work.
Upon inquiring, I realized that there are many reasons for this. Usually people find faults with something outside of them. But being a strong believer of having all the questions and answers within me, I wonder how much of this is our making. My work is boring and insipid because I don’t like what I am working on. It’s riddled with crazy time lines and unusual end-of-day tasks. I have personally lost any interest in making the project I work on, great. I also realized that not being able to have a full say in the project, has crippled me and my creativity and hence the boredom.
How do other people deal with this lack of inspiration at work? Has everyone given up? Is this common to India, as some of my friends say? How come this is so prevalent and nothing is done to rectify it? Are we so lazy that we have become happy with our secure pay checks and not willing to try something which interests us? How come Mother Theresa was so inspired? How come all the great people of the world were/are so inspired? If my project lacks any public good angle do I usually lose interest?
There are many questions I come across in my mind. Believe me when I say that I am thinking about these, because when I don’t want to code PHP – this is what I am thinking. May be I should talk to some people. May be to someone who has cracked this, rather then submitting. I don’t know anyone who has done this. Most of the people who say they are not bored (as opposed to ‘being inspired’) at work are in denial. They are doing everything to get a lot of stuff done and get busy with a lot of things. But I never see them falling in love with what they are doing. I don’t see passion in their eyes.
So, I am looking for someone who has cracked this. Who killed this lethargic, lazy ass attitude towards work and gone to the higher rankings of inspiration. I hope I meet someone like that soon. Because every day is becoming heavy and heavy and I am dragging my feet.