When I was a kid, I don’t know when exactly but I wanted to become an Astronomer. I used to tell people and the inner me that when I grow up I will be an Astronomer. It made me immensely happy. That kid in me was just dreaming up things. I used to visit my grandparents’ place – a remote village where people slept at 7pm and skies were clear – I could see million stars in the sky and never have to think that it won’t be possible to touch them one day. I was a dreamer.
As I grew up I changed my life goals. I switched from Astronomer to a Number Theorist. I was obsessed with numbers and would dream up numbers. Then came a phase where I dreamed up of being Physicist. Like a serious one. I even dreamed up of becoming an Astrophysicist! Sigh.
Tonight was an emotional night. I met a lot of friends and couple of drinks later, as I laid back in a hammock to witness the night sky with my daughter as I started to tell her stories of Moon and Stars – I witnessed a bright sky (8PM) and one single star. The ambient light of Oakland has let only one star to glow in the sky. It was a sad state. It moved me. It looked like my lonesome dream of Astronomer stuck in space time. It was pretty sad.
I spent some time on feeling nostalgic about it and realized that dreamy Astronomer boy is still within me. I had a very rare glimpse of that boy who would spend hours just staring at sky and wondering how they lit up, far far away. I miss that dude. I miss that Astronomer kid. Long time back when we moved into our new place I was excited that we have a new place and ample space to finally have our own Telescope to look at sky – but then Sangita mentioned – that in this country having a Telescope is creepy that you use to look into your neighbors houses! Thanks Hollywood for killing millions of kids dreams!
It’s ok. I can still look at bare skies and transcend into that kid who still has that gleam of excitement about being made out of stardust. I love looking up night skies and having that feeling.